Why Ill Never Rely on a Man Again
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To recall I will never trust a human again.
(20 Posts)
Recently dumped by husband of nearly twenty years. He left for a woman.told
Me it was my error and I believed him until I discovered his matter.
When I met him, he had zip. No preparation, qualifications, money etc. He worked equally a labourer. He began to studywith my encouragement and financial backing. I work total time.He studied for ten years and has risen to the top of his game in engineering and now he is gone. I'k certain similar the ladies and Men who take been in this position, I as well sacrificed a lot. My money, time, hobbies, studies. I brought up our children well-nigh single handedly.I am trying not to be bitter.He was a shit hubby and a shit male parent. Disinterested, absent-minded and disengaged when present.
I am In no blitz to e'er accept whatever type of human relationship over again, my problem is that I believe that I volition never e'er trust a man again or allow myself to fall in love.
Are there whatever happy outcomes in similar situations please? I feel worried equally I am naturally trusting and dearest to love and be loved .thanks for reading .
My mother married a shitty good for nil and spent years putting up with his abusive behaviour. She eventually met a very kind hearted loving man who was the love of her life.
Lovely to hear that. Sounds like she more than deserved it.
For a good while yet, it won't matter either way if y'all can trust another man. Yous will be able to brand your new life and build it around what you want, what your kids need and what makes you lot all happy. As time goes on, you may decide that y'all would rather be alone because you like it that way, or you may need to think about means to protect yourself and spot problems early on on. Just for now, who cares? Y'all've got rid of an arsehole and that'south a proficient matter.
Honestly, I know a lot of women who accept gone on to have happy, good for you relationships subsequently similar breakups. In fact, very few of them have not.
Thanks for such an uplifting mail service x
Anyone else have whatsoever positive experiences ? Delight ...
I am beyond furious on your behalf, not just considering of the affair (all too common) only because y'all invested and then much in this man. Pitiful, totally unhelpful I know.
I was married to an abusive pig of a man for twenty years whom I besides supported not financially merely emotionally propped him up and gave up my business organization for his to flourish, only for him to have an thing and walk out of our kids' lives.
Like you when the dust had settled I was worried nearly trusting. I was so wary but basically took it at my own pace and didn't date for ages. After a few non starters met my now dh and I trust him simply like my first experience never happened.
Some men are just shits, and sadly you had one. Merely in that location are good ones also. Somewhere there is ane for y'all and I hope yous will find him. Don't surrender!
My ex husband was awful - calumniating, cheating, controlling. After divorce I did date some other arseholes (because they were slightly less arseholish). I spent a good year grieving how my union was supposed to be. So spent a yr working on myself - wellness, cocky esteem, education while bringing upward my kids. In one case I didn't 'need' anyone to fulfil my life I attracted and connected with a lovely guy. We are 7 years in and withal happy. He has adopted my children to the ex and we had another. He isn't perfect and neither am I but I can trust him 100%. Part of that trust is facilitated by the boundaries I have put in identify of what I volition and won't accept. He knows their are non-negotiables that I volition stand by because I take a (by and large) salubrious self esteem. He has also proved himself through the good and bad of life.
Op
Are you me?
I know exactly where y'all are coming from. I hope yous are incorrect.
Similar story, supported ex in every way, financially, emotionally, through major addiction, allowed myself to be drained of everything, once he was all put together again he married my best friend, don't think I will ever properly move on from the double betrayal and have had problems with trust ever since
user764
That's awful. How long ago did that happen?
My ex was a complete rat. Because of my experience iv decided that im at present too cynical to take a relationship. So, for now im going it lone,dont no if i will ever modify my mind only for now im happy.
Sorry to hear that OP, i was in a similar 20 year spousal relationship, gave everything, received nothing.
I simply cannot ally again, I'd never trust anyoen plenty and at nearly 60 feel my best years are over. i don't want another man in my life.
Outset husband was the same, so two long term relationships with selfish losers followed by a 20 year marriage with a selfish loser.
i am as well loving and giving and am taken reward of and so I cartel not take a chance it again.
You're conspicuously a very caring, nurturing and generous person, OP, with lots of love to offer.
Take all the time you need to recover from what your selfish, soon to be ex- husband has done, and please don't think you lot'll never trust a human once again. Lots of them are gems. Mine never idea he would love or trust once more, till he met me.
Cheers for all your stories. He has really done a number on me and I experience
Atrocious because I absolutely verbally destroyed him yesterday as he was trying to exist chummy and make similar nosotros will all-time mates and all be well when
The dust settles . I feel guilty almost that .
I experience guilty nigh that.
Don't.
You said yourself he was a shit husband and father and now he's a cheater/adulterer as well.
You lot're postal service reminded me of this quote @frickenchicken
Don't beat out yourself up about letting rip. Your anger is righteous. That's OK. Permit yourself to let it out and move through you.
Have all the time you demand to work through this expose. You will feel bereaved, betrayed, angry, sad and lots of other negative emotions simply you lot will likely get-go to experience positive, hopeful, relieved, thankful and once y'all connect with what makes you feel practiced and the skilful things in your life, that volition be time to consider whether you want to take a chance again.
It took 4 years for me to start dating but I met a wonderful man and I've been seeing him for a year at present. Took it all very slowly but life is much ameliorate. I didn't think I'd ever exist with anyone again just I'm madly in beloved in my belatedly forties and happy.
I'm going to say there is zippo wrong in feeling that you'll never trust a man again. That's how I felt when ex left.
four.5 years on I'm not quite equally bad only I still have no desire whatever to be in a relationship for the foreseeable future. I think it's cocky preservation. I don't feel like I'thou missing annihilation by being on my own.
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